The Mantis-Eye Experiment

Summary

Dr. Venture learns that life with no arch enemy is not nearly so sweet when he finds himself besieged by C-list pretenders to the Monarch's throne, and his super-science business once again on the rocks. Despite the best effort of family and friends, it will take the help of a dark and mysterious stranger to get Doc's life back on track -- but will it cost him his soul?

Capsule

We start off in the desert. Some day laborers are dropped off by a truck just as a strange sound is heard. The sound just happens to be Dr. Venture in some sort of strange flying saucer car for some reason. He stops in front of the workers.

DR. VENTURE
Alright! I've got fifty smackers for each and every man willing to work an honest day at my compound. Who's up for it?
[He pulls out a list and all the workers raise their hands]
I'm taking rocket engineers, radar tracking operations managers, super-fusion fuel rod insertionists... with ventrilium handling experience... annnd I'm gonna need one or two guys who can do phase spectrum plasma analysis. Any takers? Anybody? Nope? [sighs]

Dr. Venture puts his goggles back on and drives down the road, passing a Jonas Venture, Jr. iPod billboard.

Opening credits.

At the Venture compound Brock pulls a dead bad guy off the perimeter fence. Looks like Manosaurus. Better go check if he's got any henchmen stuck further down.

Meanwhile in his lab Dr. Venture is having a phone conversation with his little, and far more successful, brother, Jonas, Jr.

DR. VENTURE
What I'm really calling about is, uh, just to give you a heads up. I've got a meeting this morning with a certain four-star general to discuss a certain hot business deal with a certain me.

JONAS JR.
You got a meeting with Manhowers, eh? That's great, Rust. Tell him I said hi and his choppers he ordered will be ready a week ahead of schedule.

DR. VENTURE
So anyway! Next time you do a photo shoot for one of the science rags, get ready to move over, because I'm lifting my self-imposed media blackout.

JONAS JR.
[laughs] You saw the Super-Scientific American piece, did ya? That must have been one of the gals in my P.R. department. [his phone beeps] Oop! Hang on a second.

DR. VENTURE
You have a Puerto Rican department?

JONAS JR.
Hello? What? Rusty?

DR. VENTURE
Still here.

JONAS JR.
New pho- new phones. Hello?

DR. VENTURE
Still me.

HADJI
Hello Dr. Venture.

JONAS JR.
Radjni! Give me good news, buddy.

HADJI
I wish that I could, Dr. Venture, but this is not so. We have had some problems on the line.

DR. VENTURE
[at the same time, unheard] Hiyo! Hello? Hello, I can hear you.

JONAS JR.
Come on, Radj, are you snowballing me? You promised you'd put on extra shifts to meet the street date.

HADJI
A thousand pardons, we are trying to work for you, but I- I have Jonny staying with me. And he is in a bad, bad way.

[JONNY is seen walking behind HADJI, without pants, mumbling incoherently and scratching himself]

Outside the compound General Manhowers has arrived early. Brock contacts Dr. Venture and rushes the boys inside.

HADJI
What am I to do? My wife will leave me if I bring him to the house again, but he is like my brother to me.

JONAS JR.
Brother! Hold on, Radj, I forgot I've got Rusty on the other line.

HADJI
Rusty? Has he asked you for money yet? [laughs]

JONAS JR.
[laughs] Hold on, Hadji. [presses a button] Rust, you still there?

Dr. Venture has, of course, abandoned his phone. Manhowers pulls up to the front of the compound and Dr. Venture tells everyone to get to their places. He rushes into a hallway as a dusty banner stating "Venture Industries: The Future Is WOW!" unrolls above Manhowers. Triana is the Venture Industries receptionist for the day.

MANHOWERS
Uh, Dr. Venture, please! I've got an appointment.

TRIANA
And you are?

MANHOWERS
General H.I. Manhowers, U.S. Armed Forces.

DR. VENTURE
[whispering] Okay, now.

[DR. VENTURE and a slickly dressed DR. ORPHEUS stroll out from the hallway DR. VENTURE was hiding in]

DR. VENTURE
Yes, yes, of course. Ten million dollars will be fine. And, any time the European Space Agency needs more, you know where to find us.

DR. ORPHEUS
Grazie, signora Venture. Ciao!

DR. VENTURE
Guten tag! [he waves as ORPHEUS leaves]

Dr. Venture introduces himself to Manhowers as outside Dr. O runs by, throwing his clothes off as he goes. Dr. Venture steps onto a conveyor belt, selling up the ability to not walk through the complex. Manhowers stares at Doc without getting onto the belt, seemingly unconvinced, but finally grunts and steps on after Doc.

Dean is up. He floats past Dr. Venture and Manhowers with his hover boots as he and Dr. Venture recite (badly) an obviously pre-written conversation.

DEAN
Morning, dad!

DR. VENTURE
Hello, son! Say, is that where my top secret, experimental hover boots have gotten to?

DEAN
Sorry, pop! I couldn't resist! They've got a thousand and one uses around the home, at work, or in combat situations!

DR. VENTURE
[laughs] Boys will be boys!

[Manhowers gives only another unconvinced grunt]

[DR. ORPHEUS, dressed in Venture Industries coveralls, passes by and tips his hat]

DR. ORPHEUS
Morning, Dr. Venture.

In the bathroom the rest of the cast (Hank, Brock, Dean and Triana) are getting into costume and practicing their lines. Dr. Orpheus rushes in to get his future-man costume. Triana steps out of the shower where she had been changing, dressed possibly as future-woman. She reads a cheesy line, wondering who writes this crap.

Meanwhile the moving walkway has taken Manhowers and Dr. Venture into the hangar, where they pass the X-1, which is now black (aside from the Venture Industries logo). Dr. Venture informs Manhowers that it's a stealth bomber he's been 'noodling around with', which excites Manhowers. Dr. Venture avoids letting the general see it, however, on account of it not being finished. Down in the hangar we see HELPeR is still painting the other side the the jet black, unseen from above.

MANHOWERS
Though I gotta wonder why you'd put a big... logo... on a stealth plane.

DR. VENTURE
Uhhmmm, so we can find it, of course.

Dr. Venture next takes Manhowers into "the most highly restricted area of the Venture Compound", which turns out to be an empty observation/research/command center. Exciting. Dr. Venture claims it's empty because he gave the staff the day, no week, off. Jewish holiday.

Just then there's a large explosion outside. A man dressed as some sort of bird or flying something with two extra (sewn on) arms is calling for Dr. Venture to face him. Brock, wearing Indian garbs, sighs and takes control of the situation.

MANHOWERS
Uhh, this kind of thing happen a lot 'round here?

DR. VENTURE
My arch enemy quit... so... I've got every Tom, Dick and Skeletor out to make a name for himself knocking on my door.

MANHOWERS
Who's that other fella talking to him?

DR. VENTURE
Oh! He's, a-uh, -nother valued customer of mine. Uh, diplomat.

MANHOWERS
Hell of a lot of brand loyalty for the big Indian.

[Brock continues to chase the now horrified bad guy, ripping the door off his own car and chasing him down with it]

DR. VENTURE
Well, since everything seems to be under control out here let's say we head back inside and talk business?

MANHOWERS
Naah, I think I've seen enough.

DR. VENTURE
But, wait, wait that's not all I've got! Look! Zero gravity pen! It writes in space!

MANHOWERS
You keep it, son. Truth is you've got a lot of impressive stuff here, no two ways about it, but a lot of it's the same impressive stuff back from when your dad was running the show. It's all still works.

DR. VENTURE
Is this about your shoe? Because if you wait twenty minutes it'll come back around. [groans] I don't know how gum got on the walkway.

MANHOWERS
Yeah, yeah, thanks for showing me around, Dr. Venture. And for the Fruitopia. Can't remember the last time I had one of those.

Manhowers drives away as Dr. Venture desperately tries to sell him 'sneakies', which are shoes with soles that spin around so the... Russians... can't follow your footprints. Dean and Hank, dressed like a robot and a guy with a gigantic gun sticking out of his chest come up to their father, asking if they'll have to sell the compound. Dr. Venture does not seem very optimistic.

Just then a magical man enters from above.

KILLINGER
Perhaps I can be of assistance. I am Dr. Henry Killinger, [he holds out his bag] and this [he pulls a piece of paper out of it] is my resume.

DR. VENTURE
Freelance business consultant and executive motivational coach. I don't know if I can afford-

KILLINGER
I work pro bono.

DR. VENTURE
Great! When can you start?

KILLINGER
I already have.

Killinger leads the Venture family back to the abandoned command center, explaining that they need to turn around their business. They enter the room to find it full staffed with 'Venchmen'. You know... Venture... Venchmen. Right? Dr. Venture laments what the super-science workers union will say when they notice.

Just then Hank and Dean notice that the manufacturing wing is on fire! Brock prepares everyone for the worst when Killinger points out that's it's not a fire, but industry. The factory is actually working. Brock and the boys have never seen that before. Hank notes that Killinger is "some kind of magic man", though Killinger refutes that Hank is also magic, and he pulls a coin out from behind his ear to illustrate that. Killinger exits. He has much work to do.

In a Venture Industries meeting room, Killinger confronts three super-science union leaders (machine workers, nuclear engineers and custodial). They question who he is and he responds by opening his magic murder bag and turning them to various shades of dust.

At Conjectural Technologies, Billy has received a 'notice of hostile takeover' notice from Venture Industries. Pete informs Billy that he made the company public and sold a few shares when they needed extra money for their Nintento Wii. Also Billy is a griffin on the logo and Pete is a centaur.

Dr. Orpheus, meanwhile, is receiving some similarly bad news:

DR. ORPHEUS
Eviction!? But I'm not in arrears!

KILLINGER
The company is going back into arachnid research. Your quarters have been resumed.

DR. ORPHEUS
What?! Why, Mr. Venture will hear of this!

KILLINGER
Doctor Venture has given me power of attorney in all business matters.

DR. ORPHEUS
Wait... There's something strange about you, doughy mystery man. I sense... the presence of... [he beings to groan in pain a little and puts his hands on his forehead]

KILLINGER
Your powers are useless on me you silly billy.

[ORPHEUS screams and blood spurts out of his nose. He collapses to the floor]

KILLINGER
You have until noon tomorrow to vacate the premises. Good day.

Commercial.

Shortly after Triana has enlisted the help of the Alchemist to help revive her father, who is crumpled on the floor in a small pool of his own blood. The Venchmen are packing up Orpheus' possessions and moving him out of his former home.

THE ALCHEMIST
Before you thank me, be warned. I only have the one bed. It's a horse hair mattress. So if you guys aren't allergic, and you don't mind sharing-

[TRIANA groans]

THE ALCHEMIST
I know, I know. Sharing your bed with this guy is like sleeping with a ten speed bike.

TRIANA
You two?

THE ALCHEMIST
It's not what you think. We did a lot of road gigs in the old days.

Meanwhile in his lab Dr. Venture and Killinger are talking about repairing Dr. Venture's soul. Killinger wants Dr. Venture to step into his Magic Murder Bag. Dr. Venture steps in, but nothing happens at first, until he is transported to the Venture Compound kitchen from his childhood. He looks down at his cereal which is telling him REMEMBER. Just than Jonas Venture, in only his underwear, enters. Dr. Venture reverts to his child self.

JONAS
Hello, Rusty! You're up bright and early!

RUSTY
I heard... noises.

JONAS
Oh, uhmm. Daddy had little... sleep over! Saay, whattcha eating there?

RUSTY
Alpha Doooog!

Rusty happily looks back at his father but his face quickly turns when he notices Jonas', uh, wang has been freed from the prison of his underpants. Jonas does not seem to notice. Rusty attempts to not think or talk about the situation as his father approaches him and tells him about the benefits of a good breakfast. Rusty returns to his current age. He continues talking about cereal when he glances back, noticing his father's manhood is now inches from his face. He shakes the cereal box, asking it what exactly it's trying to do to him.

The cereal only says: FACE YOUR FEARS.

Dr. Venture gingerly looks behind him as Little Jonas Venture turns into Dr. Killinger in, uh, snake penis form. He tells Doc that this is when his feelings of inadequacy towards his father first began. When his father turned from role model to rival. He wraps himself around Dr. Venture, asking him what he's going to do about it.

Suddenly the scene changes. Doc is young Rusty again, and he is bound to a chair in a temple of some kind. Four mummies are approaching him.

RUSTY
Pop!? Help me pop!

JONAS
Hold tight, Rusty! I'll have you out of this in a jiff!

[JONAS is riding a dinosaur and wearing a knight's armor]

KILLINGER
[as a Anubis statue] No! Do not call out to your father to save you! He is the one who tied you up and buried you dreams in this tomb! He commands these creatures of the dark! Fear. Self loathing. Stinkin' thinkin' and dilly dallying.

[the four mummies have fear, self loathing, stinkin' thinkin' and dilly dallying written on their headdresses]

KILLINGER
Free yourself and destroy this temple of failure!!

Young Rusty breaks his bonds and a green light comes from him, engulfing everything in the scene. It fades out and he is back to his current age but dressed as David, from David and Goliath. He is in front of the Venture Compound and the large statue of his father comes to life, asking him what all the racket is. Killinger, now roughly six inches tall, climbs up on Dr. Venture shoulder, telling him that he needs to defeat his father to free himself and take his rightful place on the Venture throne. Killinger loads himself into Dr. Venture's slingshot as the Jonas statue advances on them. Killinger launches himself as Doc aims. He flies through the air and is embedded in Jonas statue's forehead. That statue falls to the ground.

Killinger takes Rusty to stand on the pedestal that once held the statue. A rainbow appears over them and giant gumdrops rain upon them. Dr. Venture begins to eat one as J.J., dressed as a leprechaun, appears and begins to pick up gumdrops for himself. Dr. Venture chokes on his gumdrop.

Cut back to Dr. Venture's room. He is naked on the floor and has Killinger's wallet wedged into his mouth. He spits it out.

DR. VENTURE
Wha? How did I get in here?! Why am I naked?!? Did you slip me a roofo?!

KILLINGER
You are naked because you've been born again. Your old clothes, you life, no longer fit you. But I have something that wiiiill.

[he hands DR. VENTURE a box]

KILLINGER
And I'll be needing my wallet back also.

At the Alchemist's house, Dr. O answers the door. Brock has come with beer.

DR. ORPHEUS
To what do we owe this unaccounted but welcome pleasure?

BROCK
I dunno. Bored. I guess.

DR. ORPHEUS
Then you vanquished your demonic intruder? Excellent! I presume you've come to invite us back to home?

BROCK
Oh, no, that Killinger guy got rid of all those costumed schmoes that kept buggin' us, so- not a whole hell of a lot for me to do at the compound.

DR. ORPHEUS
Not a lot to do?! Mister Samson, are you not spiritually and morally outraged to find yourself the tenant of the DEVIL HIMSELF?!

BROCK
Huh? Oh, well, sure you know I was pissed when he told me I'd have to start paying rent. Even more when he gave me a retroactive bill for the last two years, but he explained how I could write is all off, so now I'm getting way more back from the IRS and I uh, come out ahead of the game.

DR. ORPHEUS
But, what of your boys? Surely you don't don't think them safe in the hands of the beast! God, he's probably shaking them as we speak! SHAKING THEM LIKE A NANNY POSSESSED!!

BROCK
Oh, the boys? Nah, nah; he's crazy about them. And they're crazy about him.

[KILLINGER is playing hide-and-seek with HANK]

KILLINGER
Wheeeere's Haaaank?

[HANK giggles from behind a potted plant]

BROCK
[VO] Dean's really excelling in his studies; getting great progress print outs from his learning bed, which I've gotta credit to Killinger's tutoring.

[KILLINGER is int he bed with DEAN]

KILLINGER
So, what have we learned?

BROCK
[VO] I'm not sure about some of the stuff he's teaching Hank...

KILLINGER
This man stole from your father! Teach him the meaning of loyalty!

[HANK slowly approaches a tied up Venchman with a large dagger]

BROCK
[VO] ...but he says he's got a PhD in child psychology, so...

BROCK
You know, whatever.

DR. ORPHEUS
Have you not the eyes to see what he's doing!? I HAVE TOUCHED HIS MIND!!! His is the way of the serpent and the apple! He seduced your employer with the poison promises of a Faustian prominent; giving with one hand as he macerates your souls with the other!! WE MUST STOP HIM AT ONCE!!

[BROCK takes a swig from his beer bottle]

BROCK
Oh.

In Dr. Venture's room Doc emerges from his bathroom wearing his new getup. I won't even describe it, because the magic of multimedia lets me share an image with you like so:

DR. VENTURE
What do these things do?

KILLINGER
This one is for you diet pills. And this is for whathaveyou.

DR. VENTURE
Hmm. Hmmmm. I like it!

KILLINGER
Ahhh! [sits down] I'm- I'm sorry. I've become the proud papa. [cries a little] I love mein job!

Meanwhile outside the compound, Brock, Al and Dr. O are breaking in. They leap the fence and run across the grounds when a weird camera/gun thing rises from the ground. Brock's never seen it before. Some Venchmen on surveillance duty notice them and talk briefly. However, Dr. O steps in with his magic cloak of concealment. The Venchmen aren't sure what's up now and the break in crew goes through unnoticed. Well, except Dr. O, who can't keep the cloak magic going for very long it seems.

Once inside they run through the dark hallways of the Venture compound. Brock stops by the boys room to unplug Dean's learning bed. In the bathroom they get into disguises.

THE ALCHEMIST
Why are we putting on these getups again?

DR. ORPHEUS
Because he knows my face and because he's magic.

THE ALCHEMIST
What are we, chop liver?

DR. ORPHEUS
Well, we're somewhat less magic. So we must resort to Mr. Samson's plan of subterfuge and attack. Are you finished?

[AL has on HANK'S huge chest gun from earlier, though he is wearing it at crotch level instead]

THE ALCHEMIST
I'm very excited about this plan. [chuckles to himself]

Meanwhile in the ROCC room, Killinger has cut Dr. Venture's hand. It's time to sign a contract! Membership in the most elite brotherhood with exclusive arching rights!

DR. VENTURE
Didn't have to go through all this hooey to get my first arch enemy, but what the hey? Did you pick me a good one?

KILLINGER
No. You did.

DR. VENTURE
What? My brother?!

KILLINGER
Bingo! Isn't it perfect? It's a classic Cain and Abel story!

DR. VENTURE
But- but he can't arch me. He's not even a super vill- oh my god... this is... but I'm not a-

KILLINGER
Aren't you? This is not what your heart was trying to tell you in your visions? Sign it! Make your blood feud official! Act now! Venchmen are standing by for your order!

Brock, Al and Dr. O arrive at the door to the ROCC. Dr. O attempts to use his key card to get in but the scanner isn't working or something. Next Al tries to blast the door but it turns out his gun is fake or possibly busted. Brock kicks the door down in frustration. Dr. Venture, meanwhile, appears to be signing his contract.

Just as they bust in Doc finishes signing. Killinger points at the intruders and the Venchmen march towards them. This is it. The first Venchman says "excuse me" and they all shuffle past Brock and friends apologetically. Only the Doc is left in the room, naked and confused. Brock asks if everything is okay and Doc informs him.

DR. VENTURE
Brock, am I a... bad person?

BROCK
What the hell just happened here?!

DR. VENTURE
Am I, Brock?!

BROCK
Ehhhh.

Dr. O asks where Killinger went and Dr. Venture informs him that he left. Turns out he told him no thanks and signed his severance package, not a binding contract. Then he just flew out the window. Hank and Dean are not very happy about this development. Dr. Venture, meanwhile, needs consoling. Naked consoling. Nobody present is very receptive to his needs.

Meanwhile in the sky, the image of Dr. Henry Killinger recites:

KILLINGER
All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts; his acts being seven ages.

MANHOWERS
You said it killer! And you can read more about it in the Bible!

End credits.

In his lab Dr. Venture is sifting through his mail. Mostly bills. He opens a package, which has a note in it from the Monarch which reads 'Die Dr. Venture'. There is a snake in the box. Dr. Venture screams but snake doesn't move. He picks it up with tweezers and it turns to dust. He checks the shipping information.

DR. VENTURE
Ohhh. June 6, 2003?! I really gotta get my shit together.

Notes

• This episide first aired on March 31st, 2008 (in EST/PST it aired after midnight; technically April 1st) as a 10 minute (or so) rough cut. Voice acting was complete and in place, but animation was a low quality first pass and there were no sound effects, special effects or music. The airing ended with only a title card saying "To Be Continued June 2008".
  
  
• Just in case you were wondering, just as referring to single entities (Dracula, Hitler, Tarzan) as if they can be multiple things, adding 'Man' to the front of regular words to make a bad guy name is also funny. Manaconda from last season, and now Manotaur and Manosaurus this season.
  
  
• If you're keeping track, J.J. has now hired Hector and Swifty (last seen when Dr. Venture fired them in Powerless in the Face of Death). Also seen in the background are Sally, Ned and the pirate captain who had all been previously seen on Spider-Skull Island.
  
  
• For the first time we see Hadji as a grown man (referred to as 'Radjni' by J.J. all but one time he speaks his name) and possibly in charge of Quest Industries since he would be the heir to Dr. Quest's estate thanks to Jonny's condition. We also see Jonny in the background, pretty much the same as he was last time we saw him in Twenty Years to Midnight.
  
  
• In his first disguise, Dr. Orpheus is speaking Italian, though he errantly calls Dr. Venture 'signora Venture', which means 'Mrs. Venture'. This is, however, keeping with his tendency to refer to Dr. Venture with the wrong title, though normally it's 'Mr. Venture'. Dr. Venture answers him with 'guten tag', which is German for 'hello'.
  
  
• In the same scene Dr. Venture introduces himself to Manhowers, appearing not to recognize him. However Venture has met Manhowers at least once (they are both in Guess Who's Coming to State Dinner?) and spoken to him at least one other time (Manhowers ordered an army of Venture-steins in Viva Los Muertos), though this can be shrugged off easily by the appearance Dr. Venture is clearly trying (and failing) to convince Manhowers that Venture Industries has.
  
  
• The hover boots return; last seen in Home Insecurity when they shorted out after Dean peed himself.
  
  
• If you don't remember, Fruitopia was a fruit juice beverage created by Coca-Cola in 1994 and discontinued in 2001, which should give you some idea how old the vending machines in the Venture Compound are.
  
  
• Dr. Henry Killinger is of course a parody of Henry Kissinger who was Secretary of State under Richard Nixon (and later Gerald Ford when Nixon resigned). Killinger makes a reference to meeting Nixon in this episode as well, though who knows what exactly that means. Killinger's other major appearance in the series was in I Know Why The Caged Bird Kills where he got Dr. Girlfriend and the Monarch back together and attempted to reunite Dr. Venture with Myra. There's more on him in the notes of that episode. He also had a brief appearance in Cremation Creek when he married the Monarch and Dr. Girlfriend.
  
  
• The Venchmen helmets are reminiscant of the helmets worn by the Imperial Navy officers in Star Wars (notably the A New Hope but they appear all the original movies). Jackson and Doc have promised fewer Star Wars references this season than last (98% fewer in fact), so after the two in this episode there shouldn't be many more.
  
  
• When Killinger is helping Dr. Venture confront his past, he tells him to step into his Magic Murder Bag. Dr. Venture asks, "What's inside?" to which Killinger replies, "Only what you take with you." This is of course a direct quote between Luke and Yoda in The Empire Strikes Back when Yoda is training Like and has him go into a dark cave. This is probably the most pointed out note to me, possibly ever, so I can't give credit to anyone since pretty much everyone on the planet told me. So thanks to the world for that one!
  
  
• Before the end credits Killinger recites the beginning of the very famous soliloquy from Shakespeare's As You Like It which begins as follows:

  All the world's a stage,
  And all the men and women merely players;
  They have their exits and their entrances;
  And one man in his time plays many parts,
  His acts being seven ages

  You can find the full passage on Wikipedia if you so desire.