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Love-Bheits

  • Original Air Date:
    August 20, 2006
  • Written by:
    Jackson Publick
  • Production Number:
    14
  • ... and once again, SOUL-BOT as H.E.L.P.eR.
  • Rate This Episode:

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Jump To: Summary | Capsule | Notes
All-time score of 3.5 with 498 votes

Summary

After attending a costume party the Venture family crashes on the borders of Ünderland and are taken captive. Baron Ünderbheit plans to execute them, until he takes an interest in Dean... Meanwhile, Dr. Venture, Brock and Hank meet the Ünderland resistance; a group of rebels trying to take down Baron Ünderbheit one small step at a time. Will they be able to help get Dean back, or is Dean doomed to a lifetime in an unholy union with the Baron?

Capsule

Ünderland. Flying above it (or close to above it), the X-1 carries Hank, Dean, Brock and Dr. Venture, all dressed as characters from Star Wars. Dr. Venture as Obi-Wan, Dean as gold bikini Leia, Brock as Chewbacca and Hank as... The Bat? Batman. Dr. Venture makes sure Hank knows they lost 'best group costume' at the party they were just as because Hank had to dress as Batman. Dr. Venture notes that Hank has done this at least two years prior. Hank shows no remorse, only saying that he is The Bat. At least Brock won best costume.

Meanwhile in Ünderland Manservant runs to meet Baron Ünderbheit and inform him that Dr. Venture is here. The Baron tells Manservant never to utter Dr. Venture's name again, and then they are off to the science box!

The X-1, meanwhile, banks.

DR. VENTURE
What are you doing?

BROCK
We're about to pass over Ünderland, I'm gonna go around.

DR. VENTURE
What am I, made of experimental super-sonic jet fuel? It's shorter this way.

BROCK
It's smaller than Delaware, Doc, it won't take long. Let's just play it safe.

In the science box Baron Ünderbheit reveals his plan to... turn on a big magnet to crash the X-1. After making everyone in the room turn around he unhinges his jaw and looks through a periscope and monologues to Dr. Venture. He then informs one of his science officers to switch on the magnet. He then flies upwards and sticks to the magnet, thanks to all the metal he is wearing. HELPeR hits him in the chest.

Roll opening credits.

In highly dramatic fashion the X-1 crashes to the ground. It lands in Ünderland and skids. Dr. Venture tells Brock to lock down auxiliary power, Hank and Dean babble. After much yelling and screaming the X-1 finally comes to a stop after smashing down one of the outside walls of Ünderland, leaving the cockpit safely outside of the country:

BROCK
[groans] Thank god, out of Ünderland. Ventures, sound off.

DR. VENTURE
[groans] Yeah, pretty sure my scoliosis is going the other way now.

HANK
My butt won't stop making a fist.

DEAN
Least you have one.

DR. VENTURE
You're blessed with your father's ass, Dean. Learn to love stadium cushions. [to BROCK] I told you to lock down-

BROCK
We don't have auxiliary power!!

Just then the roof of the X-1 slides back and the seats of the cockpit eject high into the air, floating back down via parachute. Right into Ünderland. The team is instantly surrounded by Ünderland ninjas.

As the team is being led down a dark hallway somewhere in Ünderland, Brock yanks out one of his teeth and tells Dr. Venture that if things get bad he should take it. It's filled with arsenic. Dr. Venture shrugs it off since he thinks Ünderbheit is 'all bluster', but Brock points out all the anti-Dr. Venture propaganda hanging up and Dr. Venture reconsiders.

Just then they reach the science box where Ünderbheit is merrily bashing the crap out of poor HELPeR. When he sees Doc, Brock and the boys he orders them to be sent to the holding cells... except they don't have those in Ünderland. Okay, send them to the pantry instead! They are carted away when Ünderbheit notices Dean and tells the guards to leave him behind for him. Uh oh.

As Doc, Hank and Brock are brought down yet another hallway a sentry who is shorter than the others glances at the prisoners and lowers her face guard a little:

The Baron, meanwhile, is sure to tell Dean how healthy and tender he is. Could use some fattening up though. Yes, he'll make an excellent dinner. Guest.

In some sort of crazy dining room, Dean dines with Baron Ünderbheit on timber wolves. They're at a huge table on opposite ends and can't hear each other talk. The Baron grabs his chair and drags it to Dean's end of the table:

ÜNDERBHEIT
There, it's much cozier this way, don't you think?

DEAN
What have you done with pop?!

ÜNDERBHEIT
Your father is resting comfortably in a makeshift holding cell. Soon-

DEAN
What have you done with my brother?!

ÜNDERBHEIT
He, too, is being held in th-

DEAN
What have you done with our secret agent bodyguard?!

ÜNDERBHEIT
They're all in the same place, okay?! Please. They're all in your past. And tonight is about the future. Eat something, please. The bounty of Ünderland is yours to enjoy.

DEAN
Go fish! I'm not fattening myself up for you! If you're gonna eat me then you can just- just... deal with the gristle!!

Baron Ünderbheit laughs heartily.

ÜNDERBHEIT
[laughing] Is that why you think I brought you here? That is rich! I will have to tell Manservant that one, and he will have to laugh. [chuckles]

DEAN
Y- you're not gonna eat me?

ÜNDERBHEIT
[laughs] Of course not! I am going to make you the second most powerful person in Ünderland.

DEAN
Wow, neat!

ÜNDERBHEIT
So your answer's yes!? Not that you have a choice, EXCELLENT! We will be married in the morning then!

DEAN
What!? Eww! I'm not marrying you!!

ÜNDERBHEIT
I know, you're worried it won't work out. It's true, I've been married several times before. Seven, in fact.

He points out the heads of his seven ex-wives, now mounted on the wall above the dinner table.

ÜNDERBHEIT
They resisted at first, too, but they came around, as you will. It's like I always say; hopelessness is the greatest aphrodisiac in Ünderland.

Dean notices some fingernails in the arm of his chair and screams, falling over on his back. Ünderbheit stands over him.

ÜNDERBHEIT
My dear, I don't want you on your back this soon. Wait until after the wedding. [laughs]

In the jai- er I mean the pantry, Hank studies a potato while Brock attempts to kick in the pantry door (to no avail). They briefly talk about why Ünderbheit might want Dean when a letter is slipped under the door. A wedding invitation... Brock opens it.

DR. VENTURE
Uhh, that was addressed to me. [BROCK hands him the letter] 'You and your guests are cordially invited to attend the unholy union of his malevolence Baron Werner Ünderbheit IV and your daughter, Dawn. Execution to follow.'

HANK
I have a sister?! Named Dawn!? How long have you been keeping this from me?!

BROCK
Hank, no, I think-

HANK
Don't defend him Brock, you knew about this, didn't you?! Does Dean!? What else haven't you told us?!

DR. VENTURE
Brock, you speak crazy, do something about him.

BROCK
Hank, Baron Ünderbheit-

HANK
Good gravy, you're right, Brock! This is just what he wants, for us to turn on each other! And I played right into their hands. Damnit!

Just then a brick in the wall slides out and a figure pokes out of it.

RESISTANCE GRUNT
[gasps] How are you!

HANK
The Wallflower! So we meet again.

BROCK
No, no, Wallflower had that thing on his head.

DR. VENTURE
Lamest. Villain. Ever.

RESISTANCE GRUNT
Oh oh, you're Dr. Venture!

DR. VENTURE
Who the hell wants to know?

RESISTANCE GRUNT
So it is true! You are in Ünderland! This is a rescue, come, follow me!

He disappears into the wall. Brock and Dr. Venture shrug and follow him, having no other real choices.

Back in Ünderbheit's room he is going on about how he feels about, uh, 'Dawn' when he asks his advisor, apparently still alive after the events of Home Insecurity, Manic 8-Ball. Ünderbheit asks if this marriage will be a success, since he's had trouble with women in the past. Ask again later. Okay, but will she at least last longer than the others? Signs point to yes. Sweet, but one more thing. Will the Baron have a boy? As I see it yes. Rejoice! As reward the Baron gives Manic 8-Ball his freedom. For one hour. So he can come to the wedding. The good Baron takes a drink from his water glass and makes a face. What?

Meanwhile Brock and the gang reach... the Ünderground. Where they are greeted by none other than Catclops.

Commercial.

Dean, meanwhile, is being prepared for the big day by two eunuchs. One measures him for a dress and they chat a little. The fatter one leaves and the other tells Dean to get into the pool so they can get him clean. Dean resists taking off his Leia outfit until the eunuch informs him that he doesn't have any balls, and even if he did he still wouldn't be interested in her. However when he pulls off Dean's bottom he's greeted with a surprise. Rooster in the henhouse! They both scream loudly and in a very high pitch. Although Dean still has his balls, so what's that about?

Back at the Ünderground, the resistance are practicing their various... uh, forms of resistance. These include calling up the (I assume) Ünderland drug store and asking if they have Prince Albert in a can, flaming bags of poo on a doorstep, the old toothbrush handle in the buttcrack and of course the classic 'Kick Me' sign on the back. Catclops notes that they've only lost one member to date.

CATCLOPS
Crazy SOB, tried to take on Ünderbheit himself. He was caught trying to dip his hand in warm water while he slept.

HANK
To make him pee? Classic!

CATCLOPS
Exactly! Ünderbheit saw it coming a mile away!

[GIRL HITLER enters through the drain pipe]

GIRL HITLER
Phew! That was close!

CATCLOPS
Well, did it work?

GIRL HITLER
Yeah, it was perfect!

CATCLOPS
Atta girl!

GIRL HITLER
You should have seen-

CATCLOPS
We struck again tonight! Should I tell them?

GIRL HITLER
Ohh, let me!

CATCLOPS
[giggles] Okay!

GIRL HITLER
We planted a cat hair in the Baron's water glass.

[they both laugh]

CATCLOPS
Is that a scream, or what? That'll show the bastard! Try to blow us up?!

[they high five]

GIRL HITLER
I don't think so! [they embrace]

DR. VENTURE
These people deserve their crappy country.

BROCK
You call yourselves a resistance movement?

CATCLOPS
We pick our battles.

GIRL HITLER
Yeah, we take it where we can get it, you know?

CATCLOPS
Course now that you guys are here to rescue us none of this will be necessary any more. So, what time we flyin' out?

DR. VENTURE
What the hell are you talking about? Rescue you? We were the ones in prison!

HANK
In pantry, technically.

RESISTANCE GRUNT
You haven't come to rescue us? Then why did you bring the bat person? And Chewbacca wookie?

DR. VENTURE
Oh good god.

BROCK
Looook, we were at a costume party, our plane crashed, and if we don't storm Ünderbheit's castle at dawn he's gonna marry Doc's son.

HANK
Not me. [small gasp] Ohhhhhh.

BROCK
So are you with us, or are you wasting our time?

CATCLOPS
Wooaah, slow down there, Andretti. Storm the castle? What are we, crazy? Slow and steady wins the race.

BROCK
We're out of here.

CATCLOPS
Just a second, Sea Biscuit. You've seen our secret headquarters. We can't just... let you leave.

DR. VENTURE
Oh, what are you gonna do? Put sugar in our gas tank?

[CATCLOPS' cat-eye thing meows angrily and BROCK yanks out its whiskers. CATCLOPS screams in pain]

CATCLOPS
[doubled over] Yeah, okay, go ahead.

Back at the bath, Dean is all dressed up. The eunuchs tell him that they aren't going to tell on him since they own the Baron for a few things. Four things between the two of them, actually. The eunuch from Detroit tells Dean he's going to call some friends of theirs. Hmmmm.

The Baron, meanwhile, is preparing for his wedding. He has a fancy wig, he's all dressed up and he's even got his golden jaw on. Manservant smiles, because he looks so good. Or because if he doesn't he'll be killed, perhaps.

Brock, Hank and Dr. Venture, meanwhile, are attempting to storm the castle, as it were. They're unseen by a group of guards, but they have the element of surprise on their side. Brock tells Dr. V to hang back (since he's useless in a fight) and Hank to closely follow his lead. He unscrews a light bulb to darken the hallway, and Dr. Venture does the same, except he burns his hand and the light bulb crashes to the floor. So much for surprise. Or not? Brock flings Dr. Venture at the guards then kicks the weapon from another guard's hands, causing it to land in is skull. He grabs it and spins around, kicking more guards. He lands, grabs the staff weapon and bludgeons two more guards in the face. He spins around the weapon, using the dead guards to take down more guards. A final one tries to get away but Brock quickly flips one of the dead guards over onto him. Easy.

Hank notices a guard that's still alive and asks Brock if that's the one they should question. Yes. Hank asks the guard who he's working for, but the guard spins Hank around and uses him as a shield.

BROCK
We know that part, Hank. Like this.

[BROCK calmly grabs the guard's scrotum and squeezes, the guard lets go of HANK and screams]

BROCK
Where's the wedding being held?! Talk!!

GUARD
Go ahead! The pain will be nothing compared to what the master will do to me if I betray him!

[BROCK squeezes harder]

GUARD
WOAH! [grunts of pain] This is still nothing compared to what the maste-

[BROCK loosens his grip]

GUARD
What?

BROCK
Nothing.

GUARD
No, what?

BROCK
Well I- I, uh, I don't- I don't know how to tell you this, but I... I feel a, uhh. A lump.

GUARD
Are you serious?

BROCK
Yeah, you- I'm so sorry, man.

[BROCK lets go]

GUARD
Oh. Oh god. Oh god.

BROCK
Yeah I just feel awful, I-

GUARD
How do think I feel?!

BROCK
Yeah, maybe you should uh...

GUARD
I... I must go to my wife.

BROCK
Yeah. Yeah. You should do that.

[DR. VENTURE motions to BROCK]

BROCK
Hey, uhh, I know it's a bad time to ask and all but, uhhh-

GUARD
The wedding. Yeah. Yeah, fine. I don't care any more. It's in the observatory another flight up through this door.

[HANK gives the GUARD a huge wedgie]

DR. VENTURE & BROCK
HANK!!

HANK
Well I didn't get to do anything!!

Dean, meanwhile, is walking down the aisle. But fear not, because Hank, Dr. Venture and Brock are on the way! Will they make it in time? Nobody knows. As they're running through the hallways bars close from the ceiling, separating Hank from Doc and Brock.

DR. VENTURE
Damnit, what now?

[BROCK runs in the opposite way but more bars fall. He and DR. VENTURE are trapped.]

HANK
[notices DR. VENTURE and BROCK] I'll come back for you!

BROCK
Hank, no! You gotta sit tight while I figure out a way out of this!

HANK
It's okay, Brock. I know I was mixed up before but now I'm groovy. I'm going ahead with the mission! Lock and load!

BROCK
That's not a gun, Hank.

HANK
What ever!

BROCK
He's got and entire army, Hank.

HANK
Exactly! They won't be expecting one lone warrior. It's just crazy enough to work!

BROCK
[sighs] Talk to your son, Doc.

DR. VENTURE
Boy, listen to your bodyguard.

HANK
Pop, you once spent weeks in your lab, all alone without sleep or food, trying desperately to isolate the gay gene! And I know you, if it wasn't for all the protestors and the hearings, you would of found it and destroyed it! And why? To keep stuff like this from happening! And Brock, do you want Ünderbheit to come and live with us? You really wanna be that big jerk's, pardon my French, that big jerk's bodyguard-in-law?!

BROCK
Hank, noo!! It's suicide!!

HANK
Then I'll see you in heck. [he runs down the hallway with a scream]

DR. VENTURE
[sarcastic] Thank goodness, Hank's going to save us all. [he looks over at BROCK] Oh what are you so worried about? I can make another one. Hey, maybe he'll surprise us. He does get that kind of retard strength when he's all worked up.

A loud crash is heard, follow by Hank yelling 'owwww'. Dr. Venture is about to eat Brock's tooth when a door to the side of them opens to reveal the wedding. Ünderbheit comments that Dr. Venture won't be able to give the bride away because they're already married. He kisses Dean on the head, though really all he does is smack his head with his metal jaw. Dean says hi to Brock and Dr. V, and asks if Hank, bleeding on the floor, is okay. He cut his tongue on his mask.

ÜNDERBHEIT
May I present to you the eighth baroness of Ünderland, the- uhh, I just realized I don't know your name.

DEAN
It's Dean! Dean Venture! And stop getting all big hands on me!

ÜNDERBHEIT
Dean? Nein, nein, this is not the name for a baroness.

HANK
That's because he's not a baroness! He's not even a woman!

[HANK rips the wig off DEAN's head, everyone gasps]

DEAN
He's right! I'm not a woman! I'm a boy science adventurer [he rips off his robes], like my father before me!

EUNUCH 1
Oh what I wouldn't give for those.

Just then Catclops and the resistance bust in and arrest Ünderbheit on grounds that same-sex marriage is illegal in Ünderland. Ünderbheit, who realizes who the cat hairs in his water are from, goes apeshit. He throws off some of the resistance and is about to rip Catclops apart when Brock quickly grabs his tooth from Dr. Venture and throws it at Ünderbheit, hitting him square in the forehead. Ünderbheit crumples to the ground.

CATCLOPS
Yeah!! Mess with the cat, and you get the clops!

GIRL HITLER
Yeah, and mess with the girl and you get the Hitleeeeeerrrr!!

CATCLOPS
Marry me?

Later in the day Brock, Dr. Venture and the boys leave Ünderland and step into... Michigan. Weird. As a thanks one of the resistance members gives the team the highest honor Ünderland can bestow upon an outlander; a best group costume medal. Swanky.

DR. VENTURE
Oh, thanks. But if you're trying to butter me up for a ride-

RESISTANCE GRUNT
Oh, no, no, no. Dr. Venture, Ünderland is free now. We are all going to stay and found a democracy. We even picked our president!

DR. VENTURE
Listen, I'm flattered-

RESISTANCE GRUNT
Girl Hitler!

[a group of resistance members cheer for GIRL HITLER as CATCLOPS stands by]

CATCLOPS
No, really, I'm- I'm happy for you, honey.

DEAN
Wow! A girl president? How progressive!

HANK
And a Hitler! Boy things are really looking up!

HANK & DEAN
Go Team Venture!!

DR. VENTURE
So, what'll happen to Ünderbheit now?

GIRL HITLER
Well we really want to soften the image of Ünderland, so we can't execute him. So my first official act as president is to banish the prick!!

ÜNDERBHEIT
[shackled] You know I'm right here? You don't have to talk about me.

A resistance member approaches the two eunuchs and informs them they found something in the royal vault that might belong to them. Their balls. In a jar. How nice.

CATCLOPS
Good bye, Ventures! Walk with god.

GIRL HITLER
Come back and visit us some time! You're always welcome in Ünderland!!

Roll end credits.

The doorbell rings at the Cocoon:

THE MONARCH
Oh, don't anybody get up or anything.

[he opens the door]

ÜNDERBHEIT
Um, uh, hi. Could I maybe, uh, crash here for a little bit? Uhm. [sniffs] Just got divorced.

Notes

  • As mentioned in the capsule, the Venture family (sans Hank) are dressed as Star Wars characters as the season two barrage of Star Wars references continues. Dr. Venture is dressed as Obi-Wan Kenobi (in specific his garb worn in the original film), Brock is Chewbacca and Dean is Princess Leia. On the X-1 and until the wedding he is dressed as slave Leia from Return of the Jedi, and when he is fitted with his wedding gown he is dressed in her traditional clothes (with her traditional hairstyle) from A New Hope.

  • Hank's costume, which has now been seen in three episodes this season (first briefly in Powerless and again in the beginning of V.E.N.), is of course Batman. In specific it's the version of Batman made most famous by Adam West in the 60's. This is actually based on the comics around the time, before Batman became more serious and dark. It's actually sort of ironic Hank refers to this costume as 'The Bat' since Batman referring to himself (or other referring to him) by this name is always associated with the darker and more foreboding Batman that most people are more familiar with after Batman Begins or the 90's animated series.

  • When the X-1 is crashing Dr. Venture quickly says (to Brock) "Lock down auxiliary power, Chewie!" which is a paraphrase of a line from A New Hope when the Millennium Falcon is being pulled into the Death Star (Han's exact line is "Chewie, lock in the auxiliary power!")

  • In keeping with the very often flawless continuity the show has, when Ünderbheit gives the orders to throw the Venture family into a holding cell, Manservant reminds him that they have no holding cells. If you recall a brief conversation between Dr. Girlfriend and Manservant in Home Insecurity, when Dr. Girlfriend is showing him the cocoon's jail cells, Manservant mentions that Ünderland has no jails because the penalty for all crimes is execution.

  • The scene where Ünderbheit and Dean are sitting at the long table is probably a reference to the first Tim Burton Batman film, where Bruce Wayne and Vicki Vale (his love interest) are sitting in a large room in Wayne Manor at opposite ends of a very long table and neither can hear what the other is saying very well.

  • When the resistance guy pushes the brick out of the wall, Hank mistakes him for "The Wallflower". Sadly this has turned up next to no relevant results for me since the only 'Wallflower' I can find is a female mutant in the Marvel universe (with Batman being part of DC). So it might have just been a silly inside joke, or maybe I don't know how to spell 'wallflower'. You never can tell about these things.

  • Adding to the list of returning friends and foes from season one, we have Catclops, Girl Hitler and even Manic 8-Ball from Home Insecurity. If you recall they were blown up by the Baron with 'tiger-bombs', though clearly the bombs were not very powerful since Catclops and Girl Hitler seem fine and 8-Ball only ripped his suit.

  • Speaking of Manic 8-Ball, he ought to have someone check the spelling of his little answer thingy. When he tells the Baron 'Better Ask Later', it's written 'Beter Ask Later'.

  • More Star Wars? The Baron's room is modeled after Darth Vader's chamber seen a few times in the original trilogy. Ünderbheit's bed is styled like the capsule itself, and the scene where his wig is lowered onto his head is a reference to the scene in The Empire Strikes Back where the back of Vader's head is revealed for a short time before a machine lowers his helmet onto him.

  • Catclops refers to Brock as 'Andretti' when Brock says they need to storm the castle. This is of course referring to the famous racing family, the Andrettis, all of whom are famous in the world of Indycar and Formula 1 racing (Mario, his sons Michael and Jeff, and his grandson Marco).

  • HavocWare to the rescue again, as he points out the scene where Ünderbheit puts the ring on Dean is a reference to the music video for White Wedding by Billy Idol (the event in question occurs at about 1:40 if you want to skip to it).

  • More Star Wars references? At the end of the episode Brock is carrying broken HELPeR on his back. This is reminiscent of Chewbacca (who Brock is dressed as) carrying a broken C3P0 on his back in The Empire Strikes Back.

  • In the hilarious world of Jackson Publick and Doc Hammer, we now have Dracula, Medusa, Tarzan, and now Hitler as improper nouns. I can't say it doesn't amuse me, because then I wouldn't point it out. Saying 'a Hitler' is probably one of the greatest things ever done in the world of comedy. Right?

  • The ending of this brought up some speculation, but according to Jackson and Doc at Dragon-Con '06, it was just a throwaway gag and Ünderbheit and the Monarch will not be teaming up this season. Sorry, guys. The Monarch hates Ünderbheit anyway, so it's not like they'd get along very well.

Episode Cast

James Urbaniak Dr. Venture
Catclops
Eunuch 2
√únderbheit Henchman 1
Patrick Warburton Brock Samson
Chris McCulloch Hank Venture
Manservant
Eunuch 1
The Monarch
Additional Voices
Michael Sinterniklaas Dean Venture
Army Guy
T. Ryder Smith Baron √únderbheit
Mia Barron Girl Hitler
Brendan Small Resistance 1
Soul-Bot HELPeR

Screencaps

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