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Now Museum -- Now You Don't!

  • Original Air Date:
    July 27, 2008
  • Written by:
    Jackson Publick
  • Production Number:
    35
  • Rate This Episode:

    • Worst. Episode. Ever.
    • It Was Pretty Crappy
    • An Okay Episode
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Jump To: Summary | Capsule | Notes
All-time score of 4.4 with 314 votes

Summary

Determined to honor the father he never knew, Jonas, Jr. converts Spider Skull Island into a Team Venture Museum. Unfortunately, he invited all of his father's surviving friends and enemies to the grand opening. There's nothing like a party to stir up decades worth of sibling rivalries, bitter regrets and half-forgotten hatreds.

Capsule

Spider-Skull Island: Some time in the past (probably around thirty years ago). A vaguely Italian man welcomes the newly formed Fraternity of Torment for their first meeting.

Scaramantula: May our hatred bind us together always in the villainous brotherhood. Hatred for the cruel society which once mocked us for our differences! Manotaur! Your side made you an outcast among men, but now they fear you! Brainulo, your deformity has-
Brainulo: It's not a deformity!
Scaramantula: Oh yeah- your heart-wrenching addiction to plastic surgery has-
Brainulo: I was born like this one thousand years from now!
Scaramantula: Right, yeah-
Brainulo: Screw your brotherhood, Scaramantula, I came here in a robot!! The only reason I'm game to align my superior mind with this syndicate of small brains is to exact revenge upon Dr. Venture... for stranding me here in nineteen [bleeped]-ty nine.
Scaramantula: We'll get to that, but first we must give a warm Fraternity of Torment welcome to our newest member, Dr. Fangdragon. [He points to a silent man very obviously pretending to be Japanese, which includes holding his fingers to the corners of his eyes in order to make them more stereotypical] No doubt your supernumerary nipple gave you a pariah in your childhood village of [he glances at a piece of paper] Japananowa?
Fangdragon: [in a decidedly American accent] Yeees, that's why I'm all evil now. And I haaate Dr. Venture.
Scaramantula: As do we all, my thoroughly Japanese friend who is easily, easily six foot two. But I have a plan to eliminate Venture once and for all! Behold!! If Venture does not turn into us within the hour we will feed his boy to my ravenous piranhas!
[Young Rusty is gagged and tied to a chair, screaming his head off. Brainulo and Manotaur cheer.]
Fangdragon: Classic! I'll bet I know what Dr. Venture will say when he gets a load of that!
Scaramantula: What is that, my uncharacteristically hirsuted Asian comrade?
Fangdragon: [pulling off his wig and fake mustache to reveal that he's really Jonas Venture] Go Team Venture!

The Venture Industries drill tank bursts through the wall of the room and Col. Gentleman, Kano and Swifty all rush out and briefly pose with a snazzy Venture Industries logo behind them (though a different logo than appears on the tank). Scaramantula, shocked by this development, hits a button on the table which causes poor Rusty to fall into the piranha pit. However a moment later Otto Aquarius jumps out of the water holding Rusty. He quickly hands him off to HELPeR who air-lifts Rusty to safety. Otto then uses his telekinetic powers over sea life to cause the hungry fish to attack some of Scaramantula's henchmen who have just rushed into the room.

Manotaur rushes in to fight but Kano suddenly breathes fire on him, lighting him up. He dives into the pool. Brainulo then commands his robot to squash everyone, however a huge man in a helmet suddenly bursts through yet another wall and knocks over the robot.

On the other side of the room the Action Man whizzes in on a hover scooter, firing his pistols wildly at everyone and yelling 'Action!' over and over. He jumps off his scooter and blasts a henchmen repeatedly in the head, happily shouting the entire time. Col. Gentleman berates him for being too extreme and notes that even Ook Ook, who is a mindless savage, knows when to pull his punches (we see Ook Ook, who appears to be a caveman, smacking a henchman with a comically large bone).

Humongoloid, who is dressed similarly to Dr. Entmann, begins to complain about chest pain to Dr. Venture. Jonas tells him to take five.

Scaramantula, meanwhile, has escaped unnoticed. He rushes over to a large box on the wall somewhere on the island and pulls a lever. A loudspeaker begins blaring out a countdown from thirty in Italian as Scaramantula makes his way down a huge staircase practically skipping with glee. Team Venture briefly wonders what the hell is going on (Col. Gentleman informs them) as Kano gives Humongoloid CPR (he eventually sits up). Dr. Venture dramatically states that they need to find the bomb. However luck is on their side as the bomb shorts out. They all laugh heartily.

Dr. Venture then shouts over to Dickie, who has apparently been waiting behind the drill tank then entire time, to snap a picture of them all in their new headquarters. A young Richard Impossible walks out as the team poses and snaps the first photo of Team Venture at Spider-Skull island. The scene fades to the picture which zooms out to reveal it's hanging at Spider-Skull Island. Jonas Jr. stands in front of it, as he was just telling the story we all saw.

Jonas Jr.: ...and that's how dad captured Spider-Skull Island. And so I can think of no more fitting home for the Jonas Venture Jr. Museum of Jonas Venture.

Super-short opening credits logo splatter.

On the X-2 the Pirate Captain is scolding his passengers, who have apparently been bickering for a good portion of the trip to the island. We see an older Scaramantula, Kano and Action Man as well as Otto who mostly looks the same due to his slower aging. We pan over to Brainulo, who looks older but most notably is now sitting in a wheelchair.

Brainulo: I remember... when this was all underwater.
Action Man: Aw it's always sad when that happens.

Back at Spider-Skull, J.J. is showing off an old bomb of his father's, noting it's the real atomic secret that the Rosenbergs tried to sell the Russians. Just then Dr. Venture, Brock and the boys arrive with HELPeR and Dr. Entmann. J.J. greets them and tells Brock to take the boys and get them a Shirley Temple. When they leave he argues with Dr. Venture that the event is black tie. Dr. Venture is wearing a black tie, however his suit is purple and his shirt pink. J.J. notes that he wants everything to go well since everyone their father worked with is in attendance. Rusty groans since he's probably going to have to talk to the Harlem Globetrotters now.

Meanwhile Scaramantula is showing his boat-mates the secret staircase at Spider-Skull Island, noting that it's how he always escaped and kept his trim figure. The rest of the party are huffing and puffing to get up the lengthy staircase due to their age except for the Captain who is doing so because he has to haul Brainulo up the stairs. Brainulo continues to mutter to himself nonsensically.

Scaramantula, however, seems unaffected by the stairs, even taking two at a time. He begins to poke fun at Team Venture. The Action Man, who has plastic knees, is especially upset about this lambasting by his former nemesis.

Jonas Jr., who has been informed of a disturbance, enters the hangar where a familiar-looking ship is sloppily landing. It finally comes to a stop and lands (sort of) and a disheveled Prof. Impossible steps out. His tuxedo is not fully put together, he is unshaven and his hair is very messy.

Jonas Jr.: Richard! You made it?
Prof. Impossible: Hello again... Jonas.
Ned: [rushing in and sitting in a seat of Prof. Impossible's jet] Yaaay! Super car go car!
[J.J. is happily watching Ned play]
Prof. Impossible: I won't let you keep her, little man.
Jonas Jr.: Pardon?
Prof. Impossible: Mmm, nothing.
[Scaramantula enters through a door in the hangar, which presumably is at the top of the staircase]
Scaramantula: Ah, ha ha! It's all just like it was! Bravo, bravo, wonderful!
[he continues to the main room as the rest of the tired guests enter]
Jonas Jr.: Welcome to Spider-Skull Island, gentlemen!
Action Man: Aww jeeze! What the hell are you?
Jonas Jr.: [laughs] Oh how impolite of me. I'm Jonas Venture, Jr. I'll show you to your table.
[the Captain finally enters, still dragging Brainulo]
Jonas Jr.: Captain! Could you be a pal and tell Sally the professor's arrived?
Pirate Captain: Just give me a minute here, will you? [he wipes his brow]
Jonas Jr.: Oh and take Ned with you, would ya? Thanks guy. [he leaves]
Pirate Captain: [approaching Ned] Alright there, big fella. Time to get out of the flying car.
Ned: No!
Pirate Captain: Come on now, Ned, don't take this-

Ned flails his arms in protest and knocks the Pirate Captain across the room.

In the main hall Action Man greets Humongoloid, who is now only a few inches tall of course. Dr. Entmann asks if any of them need a roommate. Seems that the Venture lads keep trying to flush him down the toilet. They think he's the Tidy Bowl man. Action Man notes that they're not exactly the brightest bulbs on the menorah.

And of course we cut to a scene of Hank putting his tongue on a huge block of ice (which appears to contain Ook Ook) and getting it stuck. Dean celebrates and tells Hank to pay up.

The Captain, meanwhile, walks into Sally's room to inform her that Prof. Impossible has arrived. However Sally is changing into her dress and is rather naked. They both scream and Sally's skin disappears. The Captain covers his non-patched eye and rushes around the corner, apologizing. Sally picks up her towel and runs off.

Pirate Captain: Jeeze, this is all kinds of uncomfortable. On like, a couple of levels here.

In the main hall Dr. Venture, drink in hand, stares begrudgingly at an invention of his father's. Brock, attempting to make conversation, asks what Doc thinks of the setup.

Dr. Venture: Oh yeah, it's only missing one thing.
Brock: Chicks? Not-deformed guys?
Dr. Venture: Who was, for forty-three years, the only son of Dr. Jonas Venture. Who from the ages of three to seventeen accompanied him on hundreds of adventures, the chilling memories of which rouse him from sleep in a cold sweat to this day.
Brock: Oh, speaking of which did you get a load of that ice sculpture at the bar?
Dr. Venture: Yeah I got one just like it in bronze on my front lawn, why?
Brock: Yeah, you should, uh, go check it out.

Prof. Impossible, looking at an old photo of himself, is confronted by Sally for the first time. She greets him and then quickly asks him if he brought the divorce papers while he stumbles to find something to say. He searches his pockets errantly and says that he probably left them in his other suit. Frustrated Sally walks away, saying she has a copy in her room. Prof. Impossible grabs her and asks her to take him back. She refuses, saying that they've been through all this already.

Sally: Pull yourself together, Richard. You're a mess.
[she straightens out his hair]
Prof. Impossible: My, uh, girlfriend likes my hair this way. She's young and... we're getting a boat! No, that's a lie. [Sally signs and pushes a button on his shirt which causes his tuxedo to straighten itself out] You know me so well.

Back in the main hall Dr. Venture takes a gander at the ice sculpture which is a replica of the statue in his yard except for the small detail of replacing the young Rusty Venture on his shoulder with a full-grown Jonas Jr. Dr. Venture sighs and requests another double sidecar.

Jonas Jr. is having issues with the wait staff (which is comprised entirely of pirates) getting the food mixed up when Sally huffs past him, saying that she can't believe he invited Richard. J.J. shrugs and notes that Richard was part of the team. Just then a naked Ned runs through the room with the Captain in tow, holding Ned's tux.

The Action Man and Brock are looking at an old photo of Jonas Venture shaking hands with John F. Kennedy in front of the White House with the rest of the team standing behind them. The rest of the team is dressed in their normal garb, though Jonas is wearing a space suit. Kennedy is holding a blue folder or book which he has either recently had presented to him or is about to present Jonas with.

Action Man: Man, howdy you would have loved it! Friday night we'd fly down to Cuba, arch Castro for a couple of hours and then swing up to the White House for debriefing.
Brock: Right.
Action Man: Which was Jack's code for one of his legendary pool parties.
Brock: Right, right.
Action Man: Round two we'd jet over to Vegas in time to catch Frank's last show at the Sands [Brock laughs] then bingo-bongo down to Coco beach and whoop it up with the Mercury guys.
Brock: Alright!
Action Man: Yes sir.
Brock: Hey, what's that guy's story? He one of you too?
Action Man: Naah, that's Brainulo, one of our old nemeses. He was some kind of super genius from the future, I don't know. Super-senile now if you ask me.
Billy: Oh. My. God. You're the Action Man, aren't you?
Action Man: Action!
Billy: This is unbelievable! Can I get your autograph?
Action Man: Sure thing, Venturoo. Now who do I make it out to?
[the rest of Team Venture approaches them]
Billy: Holy crap, you're all here! Oh man I don't know if I brought enough- White! How much cash do you have on you?
Pete: [off-screen] You told me it was open bar!
Billy: What are you guys charging? Ten? Twenty?
Action Man: Nah, nah, son-
Billy: Will you take a check please? I'm a friend of Rusty's!

Brainulo, in the meantime, is staring at his old robot and attempting to control it. However before anything happens he is interrupted by Ned, who is now only missing pants (and underpants, sadly) and the Captain chasing each other. They run away from an annoyed Brainulo as Scaramantula comes up to him.

Scaramantula: You were trying to command Futuro.
Brainulo: [briefly surprised] Are you my mommy?
Scaramantula: Stop faking! You're not senile, I saw you!
Brainulo: Fine! But be quiet about it. I want to lull the puny-minded Ventures into a false sense of security that I may strike when they least expect it.
Scaramantula: Can I help you? I hate what they've done to this room.
Brainulo: Very well! Tonight, the Fraternity of Torment will have its revenge!

Commercial.

Team Venture has set up a table where they are selling autographs for $10 and photos for $20. Action Man signs something as he and Kano take a picture with a fan. The Action man glances over to the side and notices Brainulo and Scaramantula have set up their own 'Team Venture Rogues Gallery' and are charging $15 for autographs.

Scaramantula: No, no, see, there's four here. The eyebrows are five and six and the mustache, she makes eight legs. See? Tarantula, Scaramantula!
Billy: [gasps] God I always wondered about that, thanks. [to Brainulo] Could you sign it too? You're like my favorite villain ever! [to Scaramantula] No offense, it's like a big head thing.
Brainulo: Vanish! [Billy leaves] This is what you call vengeance?
Scaramantula: It's killing them, our line is longer than theirs! Look how they keep looking over! [makes a tears gesture] Ohhh!

Just then Dr. Venture shows up at the Team Venture table. Action Man greets him and tells him that there won't be any charge. Dr. Venture is drunk.

Dr. Venture: I just came by to say how glad I am that you were able to make it out to gorge yourselves on free shrimp in my father's honor!
Brock: Okay, Doc.
Dr. Venture: It's too bad your old pal Colonel Gentleman couldn't be here to bask in the glory with you! Oh, or did you guys get him killed too?

Someone taps Dr. Venture on the shoulder. Doc looks over and comes face to face with none other than Col. Gentleman himself, who promptly punches Doc in the face, causing him to topple over.

Dean: It's the ghost of Colonel Gentleman!
Col. Gentleman: That's for breaking my step-daughter's heart!
Brock: Hey, hey, hey, hey now!
Col. Gentleman: [putting his cane at Brock's throat] Don't you try it, Prince Adam! This old panther's still got moves that will make your mullet spin!
Dean: But... you're supposed to be dead.
Col. Gentleman: Nonsense, I'm an ox!
Hank: But we poked you and everything!
Col. Gentleman: Oh that was you? Kiki told me someone had been in the flat while he was gone...

Col. Gentleman then relays the story of how he and Kiki had their worst fight ever. When Kiki finally left Gentleman was sure that he was gone for good. So, he buried his grief in an entire box of Mallomars with a Yoohoo chaser! The boys must have happened upon him while he was in a diabetic coma.

Kiki later returned to 'the best god damned thing that ever happened to him' and gave the Colonel his insulin, reviving him.

Col. Gentleman: Kiki! You've come back to me!
Kiki: Kiki is so sorry, Master Gentleman!
Col. Gentleman: [punches Kiki] That's for giving me a coma, you fickle paunch! Get up!
Col. Gentleman: [VO] I was in desperate need of a good work out.
Col. Gentleman: Ohh! Blasted Mallomars! My tits are back!!

Fade back to the present.

Col. Gentleman: A few poppers later, Kiki gave me one. One thousand sweat soaked, silent sorries later we were back together. [pauses] Anyway you can read all about it in my memoirs! [he pulls a book out of his bag and throws it on the table]

Billy is checking out a display of Team Venture toys in awe. He picks up a Jonas Venture pullstring doll which informs him to watch out for incoming frogmen. J.J. hovers over and grabs the toy from Billy, telling him not to touch the displays.

At the bar Dr. Venture orders another drink and briefly berated Brock for being a really great bodyguard. Brock points out that Col. Gentleman wasn't really trying to kill him... so... Just then J.J. shows up and asks if they're having a good time. Dr. Venture is about to lay into him but Brock covers his mouth and tells J.J. that everything is great and he really outdid himself. J.J., clearly only asking to jump into his next request, then requests Dr. Venture. There's a picture he needs to get while everyone's here.

Just then Sally appears and demands to talk to J.J., who asks her if it can wait. Behind a table a few feet behind them a head peeks out. Sally begins to yell, saying J.J.'s been ignoring her the entire night and she's still highly upset about Richard attending the party. Richard's ear stretches into frame as J.J. tries to reassure Sally that he'll be back very quickly to talk about it with her. Promise. He zips away and Sally grabs Richard's ear and pulls on it and we hear Richard yelp offscreen.

Back at the Team Venture makeshift signing table the team are all uncomfortably reading copies of the Colonel's memiors.

Action Man: I- I can't believe you slept with Killermanjaro. I had no idea he was-
Col. Gentleman: Yeah neither did he. 'Til the day he tried to ambush me in the middle of a threesome with Gore Vidal and Wally Schirra!
Jonas Jr.: Hey fellas, if I could get you all to gather in the next room for a few moments I'd like to- what is this? Are you selling autographs?
Action Man: Like gang busters! We made table money in the first five minutes!
Jonas Jr.: You can't do that here! You're... cheapening the memory!
Col. Gentleman: Listen, pot noodle, we are the memory, okay? Now I saw your "suggested donation" box on the way in. So unless you're giving us a cut of the door I suggest you go rouse Spider-Man and the Great Gazoo over there!
Scaramantula: Look at them! Ratting us out to the man! Cowards! [he looks over at Brainulo, but he has disappeared]
Brainulo: Incompetent fool! The man should be wearing a rubber ass on his face instead!

Brainulo proceeds to wheel around the museum, reading everyone's minds and trying to provoke people into following their darkest thoughts. He tells Billy to steal the collectibles he covets and mocks Prof. Impossible for losing the love of his life.

The pirates, who have all been hired as the waitstaff for the party, are talking about how demanding J.J. has been of them all night, and unreasonably so. One of the pirates points out that things where better when the Captain was in charge. Even though they were stuck in the sargassum for ten years, they were free. They were pirates. Now they're trained monkeys and the Captain is the biggest of them all. Apparently. Just then the Captain is called off by J.J.

In the same room Team Venture was in when they took the photo from the beginning of the episode, the remaining team members pose in the same way, with J.J. of course standing in for his father. Dr. Venture asks where he should stand when J.J. 'remembers' that he wasn't even in the picture and asks instead of he wants to snap it. However the Captain walks in now, so Doc isn't needed after all. Oh no, wait, someone's missing! Ook Ook!

Jonas Jr.: Captain, come and be our Ook Ook!
Pirate Captain: Ya could Photoshop him in later!
Jonas Jr.: Come on, it'll be fun!
Action Man: Yeah!
Pirate Captain: Aww, jeeze. [he hands Dr. Venture the camera] Ya mind, Rusty?
[Prof. Impossible wanders into the room]
Jonas Jr.: Richard! You should take it! You took the original! How perfect!
Prof. Impossible: Uh, oh... okay.
Jonas Jr.: Oh-hoho, wait, Cap! Take your shirt off and slouch! You're supposed to be a cave man!
Pirate Captain: No, I'm not comfortable with that.
Jonas Jr.: Oh come on, be a sport! Oh it'll be a riot!
Pirate Captain: Look! You're pushin' me buttons now, chairman, and I've about had alls I can take! You've been runnin' me ragged all day, and I'm tired of being your dang-blasted trained monkey!
[Col. Gentleman socks the Captain in the face]
Col. Gentleman: That's for calling Ook Ook a monkey!

A few moments later the Captain shows up back at the stairwell where the other pirates are sitting. Rousingly he tells them they were right and asks if any of them feel like being a pirate again. They all cheer and agree! As they leave a familiar looking box on the wall sparks.

Back in the main hall Brainulo is still harassing people mentally. He prods General Manhowers about his past during war (apparently he burned a few villages which may have contained some children) and then confronts Pete White:

Brainulo: [VO] You... fantasize about conquering... [speaks out loud] the mother from Growing Pains? [he wheels off]
Pete White: Aww yeah. That episode where they showed her in the bathtub... uh... eh?

It's about now that the party starts to go a little insane. Professor Impossible stands up on a high catwalk and drunkenly proclaims that he did all for Sally. He then does a weird stretchy fall and lands in a waterfall, falling asleep (or perhaps being knocked out) in a drunken stupor.

Meanwhile the entire waitstaff of pirates (which are much more numerous than the three we saw earlier) are gathering and clearly about to start some shit. Meanwhile J.J. is arguing with Sally, with neither of them aware of what's happening around them. Ned is also upset about them fighting, and protests behind them, asking they not fight.

Dr. Venture: This is gonna be one of those things, isn't it?
Brock: Uh?
Dr. Venture: I mean you've got a bunch of short-fused, costumed idiots in one room together and what do you think's gonna happen? Any minute now stuff's gonna start blowing up, guys'll be throwing each other into other guys.
Brock: Yup. Probably.
Dr. Venture: Huh. You know when you're not the one in the middle of it all for once, it's actually totally completely obvious.
Brock: Uh huh. Welcome to my life. [he walks away]

Hank and Dean, meanwhile, are poking Prof. Impossible's belt buckle, which causes his suit to switch between tuxedo and Impossible Industries long underwear. Brock tells them that they're leaving.

Up above everyone the Captain informs the crowd that they're taking over! The pirates swing down from the catwalk that just climbed up to and begin menacing the crowd. The Action Man exclaims 'Jinkies, it's pirates!' before a team-wide 'Go Team Venture!' (with retro logo) followed by an old fashioned ass kicking. Pirates are beat up (again), Billy steals some stuff and Brainulo celebrates his victory. However in the skirmish some debris hits a projector which causes it to turn on and begin broadcasting a film. Distracted by the film, most people in the room stop what they are doing to watch it.

The movie is various clips of Jonas Venture, with J.J. doing a voice over:

Jonas Jr.: I never met my father. All of my memories of him come from these old films and the items on display here at the Jonas Venture Jr. Museum of Jonas Venture. And then anecdotes that you, those closest to him, have been kind enough to share with me. [continue]
Brainulo: No! You won't defeat me again, Venture! Strike them down, my colossal metal friend! Now, while their undeveloped brains are drunk on saccharine sentimentality!
[back to the film]
Dick Cavett: Uhh, Dr. Venture, what would you say is your greatest adventure and, uhh, parenthetically, what is your greatest invention?
Jonas Venture: Hmmm, well, Dick, those are most excellent questions, but I'm afraid I only have one answer. My son.
[the crowd in the museum nods and murmurs approvingly as the film ends]
Jonas Jr.: Captain? The house lights. Please.
Pirate Captain: [sniffs] You got it, chairman.
Jonas Jr.: Well, seems my father still has much to teach us. Which is exactly why I built the Jonas Venture Jr. Museum of Jonas Venture. To spread dad's message of hope, love and super-science. And now, if I may, I'd like to ask my brother to say a few words. Rusty?

In the hangar Brock is rushing Doc and the boys out. Dr. Venture is complaining because he wanted to see the carnage, but Brock notes that he's not J.J.'s bodyguard, so this isn't his problem.

Back inside the hall Brainulo is desperately trying to get Futuro to move again, with no results. He concentrates as hard as he can, begging the machine to move, but only succeeds in shorting out his crazy brain lights. As this happens the bomb by the staircase sparks again and the Italian countdown from 30 plus years ago continues where it left off. The crowd does not look too pleased. Scaramantula rushes for the exit. On the X-1 Dr. Venture notes that Brock made a good call.

At the staircase Scaramantula plays with the control box a bit in an attempt to stop the bomb, but quickly gives up and makes his escape riding on the back of Brainulo's wheelchair.

In the X-1:

Dr. Venture: Wait Brock, we have to go back.
Brock: What?!
Dr. Venture: He's family, Brock, and he's in trouble. He needs us.
Brock: [stares at Doc for a second] Pssh, get the fuck out of here!
Dr. Venture: Hah, haa! Had you going for a minute there, didn't I?
Brock: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dr. Venture: Had you going!

Inside the museum everyone is rushing to escape, only they don't know where to go and they're also on an isolated island. The countdown reaches one and...

Roll end credits.

Still inside the museum everything is fine, uh, except there's a crazy looking purple thing all over the place. Subsequent shots reveal a familiar 'i' logo and we finally see the bomb, which is totally obscured by Prof. Impossible's head. He's absorbed the impact of the bomb and saved the island at the expense of incredible pain and retarded amounts of stretchiness to himself.

Sally: Richard, that was one of the most selfless things I've ever seen. Thank you!
Jonas Jr.: Yes! Thank you, Richard! And you're welcome in our home any time.
[he and Sally exit, hand in hand as Prof. Impossible lets go of the bomb and deflates a little, though he's still stretched all over the place]
Pirate Captain: Tell the truth. You was just trying to kill yourself, weren't you?

Notes

  • The Fraternity of Torment is two-thirds new members. We have never met Brainulo or Scaramantula before, however Manotaur's first appearance was back at the end of Shadowman 9 where Phantom Limb (most likely) killed the retired super villain. In that episode you may recall the Monarch identified himself as 'The Mighty Manotaur' in order to not tell Phantom Limb his actual name.

    Scaramantula is at least partly based on the James Bond villain Scaramanga from The Man with the Golden Gun. They are both similar looking and have similar sort of names. Scaramantula also keeps with the now traditional method of adding 'man' somewhere in a villain's stage name. Personally I am still holding out for someone named The Mighty Mantis or something (Manta Claws doesn't really count).

    Brainulo mostly appears to be one of those large-brained telekinetic and/or psychic bad guys who inevitably appear in every costumed hero/villain-themed show. The first example that popped into my head was Brainchild (scroll down a little) from The Tick animated series (though neither of his two appearances were written by a certain Chris McCulloch) and another good example is Hector Hammond (thanks Wikipedia) though I don't really think Brainulo is based on a specific character, more of a general idea of a character (or at least whoever the first large-headed super-smart bad guy was).

  • WILHELM SCREAM! In the opening scene when the drill bursts through the wall the infamous scream can be heard.

  • Humongoloid reminds me a great deal of Andre the Giant, though Andre was 7'4" and not fifteen feet tall. However Andre suffered from many health issues due to his acromegaly (a condition by which the pituitary gland produces excess growth hormones) and eventually died of heart failure at the age of 46. Andre and Humongoloid share a few similar characteristics; build, hair and both have a very deep voice.

  • This is probably the very first time we get to see the entirety of the original Team Venture which is, suffice to say, much larger than was let on in Past Tense. Col. Gentleman, Action Man and Kano (along with Jonas Venture) are obviously the core members. This is also the first time we see Otto since the events of Past Tense, though it does make sense for him to tend towards not hanging around with Team Venture very often since he's a Jehovah's Witnesses and the team tends to engage in some rather immoral extracurricular activities.

    We also see the return of Dr. Entmann (as Humongoloid), Swifty (before his mind went) as well as a never before seen member, Ook Ook the mindless savage who appears to be some sort of cave man, probably found in the ice or something. Or perhaps he's just a silly throw-away joke. Time will tell. Regardless of Ook Ook's status we still get to see the entire team (sans Rusty and Hector) together at once for the first time in the series.

  • Jonas Jr. noting that the bomb at Spider-Skull Island was what the Rosenberg's actually tried to sell to the Russians was a reference to Ethel and Julius Rosenberg who are famously known atomic spies from the early Cold War. The circumstances of their trial, which occurred during the infamous 'Red Scare' (a time in the US where anyone even thought of being Communist was given a usually unfair trial). While Julius's involvement was mostly proved, Ethel's was not and is still disputed today, however both were executed in July of 1956.

  • While Professor Impossible has appeared in every season (Ice Station Impossible and Twenty Years to Midnight are his previous two appearances, with a brief role in the pilot episode though he was unnamed in that episode) this is his first time not voiced by Stephen Colbert (aside from the pilot of course). Colbert was apparently too busy or too big of a star (take your pick I guess) to reprise his role, so instead series creator and writer (and most other roles) Chris McCulloch (aka Jackson Publick) filled in for him.

  • Speaking of Professor Impossible, we are also given a little more info on his past involvement with Jonas Venture and Team Venture. His age falls somewhere between Jonas Venture and Dr. Venture, and aside from snapping the first photo seen in the episode he also appears in another photo (he is looking at it when Sally confronts him for the first time) taken in front of the Venture Compound. He is posing with Jonas Venture as well as two other people I don't recognize and a third person in a wheel chair with tiny arms and legs who is highly likely to be Phantom Limb prior to his accident, or at least Hammilton G. Phantomas as he would have been known as at the time.

  • In keeping with Dr. Venture's, shall we say 'girly' drink preferences, in this episode he orders a sidecar (or specifically a double sidecar) which is one part brandy or cognac, one part cointreau, one part lemon juice and served in a sugar-rimmed glass. So there's that.

  • Action Man's talks of yesteryear as relayed to Brock involve Fidel Castro, Frank Sinatra and the Mercury Seven as well as JFK who is not only mentioned by also pictured in a photograph that starts the Action Man down memory lane. I won't get into who any of these people are since they're all pretty well known (and I'll explain who the Mercury 7 are later anyway).

  • The sign on Team Venture's autograph table reads:

    MEET the ORIGINAL
    TEAM VENTURE

    Autographs $10
    Photos with $20
    Origami $5

  • Yet again we are given another hint into what exactly caused Jonas Venture's untimely death. Dr. Venture lets on (though it could have been said in drunken anger) that his father's death was somehow the rest of Team Venture's fault when he notes that the team could have gotten Col. Gentleman 'killed too'. And of course there's always the ominous image of a bloodied Jonas Venture Sr. posted in Jackson's blog back in August '07 which may be a window into the demise of the original Dr. Venture. Time will tell.

  • Col. Gentleman's affinity for 80's children's culture continues with his referring to Brock as 'Prince Adam', who is He-Man's alter ego who sports a similar build and haircut to Brock (though Brock's mullet is probably more glorious).

  • Small continuity error pertaining to Col. Gentleman's diabetic coma. When the boys find him 'dead' in Twenty Years to Midnight he has a blanket neatly draped over him up to just below his chest. However in the flashback he falls into the coma without really disturbing his blankets at all, though when Kiki revives him he is covered in a beige sheet, though the blanket seen covering him in Twenty Years is red.

  • In case you were wondering who the heck Col. Gentleman was having a threesome with (and I know I was!) he claims Gore Vidal and Wally Schirra.

    Vidal is a famous novelist/playwright/essayist/writer guy who is probably most famous for the novel The City and the Pillar (1948) which was the first major American novel to feature 'unambiguous homosexuality'. He also wrote the screenplays for Suddenly, Last Summer, The Best Man (of which he also penned the script for the play of the same name) and is an uncredited co-writer for Ben-Hur due to the death of the movies's producer Sam Zimbalist.

    Schirra is one of the original Mercury 7 for Project Mercury, which was America's first foray into space flight. Schirra was also the only man to participate in the first three US space programs (Mercury, Gemini and Apollo). He died May 3, 2007.

  • Colonel Gentleman refers to Brainulo as the Great Gazoo, a strange alien character from The Flintstones who had a very large head. He also calls Scaramantula Spider-Man for fairly obvious reasons.

  • Strangely the three pirates we see in this episode were killed, or at least severely maimed in Ghosts of the Sargasso by Brock. You'll recall that the one with the Boston-ish accent (who is still wearing pantyhose on his head for some reason) was elbow deep in Brock's ass (literally) when Brock used him to beat the younger pirate with the black hair (not the one with the eyepatch). The eyepatch guy was only knocked out when Brock bashed his head together with another pirate.

  • Prof. Impossible standing up high and shouting "I did it all for you!" (and then falling/jumping) is a loose reference to The Omen, where Damien's nanny shouts "Look at me, Damien! It's all for you!" before jumping off a roof and hanging herself. Or, if you prefer the lackluster remake, the line was slightly changed to "This is for you, Damien! All of this is for you!"

  • Also speaking of that scene, there's a weird editing flub where after Prof. Impossible jumps we see Sally standing in front of him. The camera then pans to the right where we see Dr. Venture and Brock watching the madness unfold. Dr. Venture looks to his right and we see the pirates and then further to the right we see Sally arguing with J.J. on the other side of the room only a few seconds after we saw her on the opposite side of the room. However you can easily explain this all away by saying that we never actually saw the face of the woman who was in front of Prof. Impossible and maybe it was just someone dressed exactly like Sally. If you want.

  • The Action Man's exclamation of 'Jinkies, it's pirates!' is a reference to Velma from Scooby-Doo who said 'Jinkies!' many times in the series (probably one or more times an episode).

  • The man interviewing Jonas Venture as seen in J.J.'s film is Dick Cavett of the Dick Cavett Show, a long-running late-night show which ran from 1968 - 1975 on ABC (though not late-night until 1969) and then later to other networks and finally to TMC where it currently resides. The Cavett show is generally considered the best competition that The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson had (which is not to say it ever beat Carson). Cavett's show was interesting however because guests outside of acting and music were frequent guests, unlike on Carson's show where similar guests would be booked last and only appear at the end of a show if there was extra time to fill. In that way it makes sense for Jonas Venture to appear on the Cavett show rather than on the Tonight Show since he was not really an entertainment industry celebrity.

  • Seen at the party: Mandelay and Roy Brisby from The Incredible Mr. Brisby, Budd Manstrong and his mother from Guess Who's Coming to State Dinner?, Dr. Guevara from Dia de los Dangerous!, the OSI agent who briefed Brock in the sub in Assassinanny 911, Dick Cavett, various pirates, and the Girly Mag Scientist from Tag Sale, You're It!.

  • The mysterious 'H' in the comments also brought to my attention that the voice actor who played Scaramantula, Toby Huss is a pretty semi-famous guy who you all probably know without actually knowing his name. He currently provides the voice for Cotton Hill (Hank's dad) and Kahn in King of the Hill but was also Artie (the strongest man... in the world!) from The Adventures of Pete & Pete.

Episode Cast

James Urbaniak Dr. Venture
Dr. Jonas Venture Jr.
Patrick Warburton Brock Samson
Michael Sinterniklaas Dean Venture
Christopher McCulloch Hank Venture
Brainulo
Pirate Captain
Col. Gentleman
The Action Man
Ned
Prof. Impossible
Pete White
Additional Pirates
Doc Hammer Billy Quizboy
Extra Pirates
Paul Boocock Dr. Jonas Venture Sr.
More Pirates
Mia Barron Sally Impossible
Stephen DeStefano Dr. Entmann
and Tobey Huss as Scaramantula

Screencaps

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